NO KICKS GIVEN
FANTASY FOOTBALL • EST. 2026
2026 INAUGURAL SEASON
Longtime friends. First season. Full PPR. 1 QB. 2 RB. 3 WR. 1 TE. 2 FLEX. No kicks. No D-Fence. No excuses.
THE WEEK 6 RACE
The Hamburglar and Cream team enter Week 6 at 5–0. El Meatball has won three straight and meets Kool Aid Jammers in the Game of the Week. Make all six picks by Sunday, October 18 at 1:00 PM ET.
WEEKLY PICK'EM
Compare live starters, player projections, and NFL opponents before choosing the winner of every No Kicks Given matchup.
MAKE YOUR PICKS2026 SURVIVOR POOL
GB Pack Attack survived while the final Tampa Bay picks fell. Philadelphia's Week 2 win sealed the inaugural Survivor title.
VIEW THE CHAMPION
3–2 • #5 POWER RANKING
3–2 • #4 POWER RANKING
The Hamburglar brings a 4–0 record into a meeting with 3–1 Bad News Bears, fresh off a 188.44-point Golden Ghost performance. Their season totals are separated by just 2.38 points. An unbeaten run meets the week's biggest scorer.
WEEK 6
Make all six picks by Sunday at 1:00 PM Eastern. You can change your mind right up to the lock.
VIEW STANDINGS
“The Hamburglar is 5–0; Maye cause bleeding is 0–5. One brings the Golden Ghost, the other needs a first win. This is either a mismatch or the commissioner's next apology.”
“GB Pack Attack has lost two straight. Justin Jibberson lost by 3.08 last week. Somebody gets relief; somebody gets another paragraph from the commissioner.”
“creamteam is 5–0 after a 50.40-point win. OliverClothesOff! is 1–4 after scoring 78.50. The records favor perfection. Fantasy football enjoys an inconvenient plot twist.”
“GAME OF THE WEEK: El Meatball and Kool Aid Jammers are both 3–2, separated by just 1.86 season points. The Meatball has won three straight. Fourth place in the win column is on the line.”
“PistolPete and Kohl’s Cash Jr. are both 2–3. One benched a quarterback who could have flipped the result; the other started Drake Maye for 39.46. Check the lineup screen.”
“Bad News Bears scored 143.14 and lost. RedDeadYeti scored 104.94 and won. Now they meet, because fantasy football would like another chance to explain absolutely nothing.”
SEASON RACE
Minimum decided picks for prize eligibility: 30.
COMMISSIONER'S DESK
Objective analysis has been rejected in favor of stronger opinions.
Five wins, 174.00 points and a Golden Ghost. Add a 5–1 Pick'em card and the commissioner has run out of excuses. First place is finally yours. Please resist framing this paragraph.
Still 5–0 after beating the Pack by 50.40. Second is harsh for an undefeated team, but the Hamburglar scored 33.36 more this week. Complaints should include another 140-point performance.
143.14 points and a loss. Jaylen Warren and Isaiah Likely combined for 69.20, but the Golden Ghost was on the other sideline. Third respects the production. The schedule owes you an apology.
Three straight wins and a 59.52-point demolition. Puka Nacua supplied 37.70 while Tyler Shough supplied 1.84, proving that group projects occasionally work. Fourth comes with the Week 6 spotlight.
Bucky Irving delivered 31.50 and Kool Aid Jammers reached 3–2. Just 1.86 season points separate this team from El Meatball. Settle it on the field; the commissioner is tired of doing decimal arithmetic.
Two straight losses, 90.24 points and two starting receivers with zero. The Survivor trophy remains lovely, but it cannot fill a FLEX spot. Sixth is the commissioner's formal request for a response.
Drake Maye's 39.46 powered a 3.08-point escape. Seventh is a four-place promotion, which should distract everyone from how narrow that escape was. Please keep the quarterback in the lineup.
Christian Watson scored 32.30 and RedDeadYeti returned to the win column. The 104.94 total was enough this time. Eighth rewards the recovery without pretending the commissioner has forgotten 87.72.
126.26 points and another loss, this time by 3.08. Either MarShawn Lloyd or Blake Corum over David Montgomery would have flipped it. Ninth is where respectable scoring meets expensive bench seating.
Jahmyr Gibbs scored 37.70. Pete still lost by 22.20 while Jayden Daniels outscored starting QB Bo Nix by 24.34. The commissioner has checked the math and would like a word with the lineup department.
Josh Allen and Christian McCaffrey supplied 48.80 of the team's 78.50. The other seven starters combined for 29.70. Eleventh reflects a group project with two people doing almost all the work.
Five losses and a league-low 74.92 this week. The next opponent is undefeated and just scored 174.00. This would be an excellent time for the funniest upset of the season. The commissioner is rooting for content.
STARTING LINEUPS
Sleeper team names. Commissioner-projected starters. Opening-day bragging rights begin here.
Just'in Peckkkk-um
John "JK" Kelly
Matt "The Sandman" Sanders
Paul "The Hitman" Kelly
Ben
Big Lou
Steve Barry
Rob
Josh "Big Country"
Peter Peter, the pumpkin eater
Illius Willius Menardy
Papa Chuck
LEAGUE FORMAT
One point per reception. Catch the ball, get rewarded.
One field general. Choose your weekly commander wisely.
Two workhorses carrying the load—and hopefully the ball.
Three routes to glory. More starters, deeper decisions.
Part receiver, part blocker, full-time weekly headache.
Two wild cards. Build the lineup your way.
Enough depth without hoarding the entire league.
Room for the inevitable Sunday casualties.
No kicker. No defense. We came here for touchdowns.
YEAR ONE
“A championship lasts forever.
So does finishing last in the group chat.”
NEW FOR WEEK 1
Unlock Weekly Pick'em now — and use the same identity later for Survivor and other NKG league games.
CLAIM MY TEAM